I've been thinking about some things that I would really like to share. I want to say, that when someone becomes a parent, they are a parent every second of every day for the rest of their life. That being said, I used to have someone watch Gage while I did simple daily tasks like going to the grocery store or going shopping or heck, even when I had to clean the house. Being a single mom was stressful and that's all I knew to do.
Then, I met someone that would change my views forever. My fiance asked me, why do you have to have someone watch your son while you do these things? Let's take him to the store and everywhere we go. Afterall, he is your responsibility and your family. So, I did. I took on the responsibility of being an actual parent. I had to learn to teach him how to act in public as I deemed appropriate and not to talk to strangers and not to run into the parking lots and scream at the top of his lungs in the middle of a store and not to run off from mommy... I was stressed! But I knew for his sake, it had to be done. Otherwise, he would have been raised by grandparents (I have nothing against grandparents, but you know how they are with grandkids... By the time a person has become a grandparents they are way more relaxed and tend to be soft with the grandkids), aunts and uncles. So, I made a decision, I would be the sole person to always have my child with me and we would make visits to the grandparents houses.
The number one reason being, I have grown to love my child so much that I recognize what he needs and not what he wants. He needs a routine... Daily and bedtime. Consistancy is a key in successful parenting.
Number two reason, dietary. My son needs to eat healthy. Proper portion size for his age and a well balanced diet.
Number three reason, I as a parent like to limit his electronic world. I have noticed with some experience that if my son watches t.v. he doesn't pay attention to what his body needs.As soon as the t.v. is off he is cranky.Mainly because he didn't pay attention to his stomach saying it needs food and his blood sugar is low. Same with video games. He acts like a drug addict would act for drugs, only his drug is t.v. and video games.
Number four reason, he needs to have a form of discipline that works for him. One thing I need to say is, I do not spank. Not because I don't agree with it, but because he would rather have a spanking then a time out. Also, I feel that spanking is a lack of self control on my part. Time outs work. They have to be the same every time. Watch Super Nanny enough times and it will be so simple.That's what I did.
The last reason I took total control over parenting was because I am the one responsible for the things my children are exposed to. Including but not limited to, drinking alcohol underage or not, you cannot be a responsible person and make coherent decisions or even be able to drive someone to an emergency room under the influence of alcohol, nor does someone realize that children pick up everything... Like hey, that drink makes that person do funny stuff or whatever. Also, to see someone that is younger drinking makes that child think when they grow older that its okay. I am against underage drinking.(this link will explain a little better about the effects of alcohol on the underage brain: http://www.alcoholpolicymd.com/press_room/Media_kits/mk_brain_image_index.htm) I've learned what damage it does to the learning center of the brain that cannot be recovered. There is an age restriction for a reason. If I had known this at a young age I may have made better decisions. I learned this information in my child development class and have researched it extensively online.
Also, another exposure is foul or vulgar language. So many people use it in every day life. It doesn't make a person sound more intelligent and its not okay to use especially when its used to hurt someone. Another more important issue, is sexual content. So many people I know have spoken freely about sex around young children, and not only spoke about it but there have been visual images thrown out there right in front them. I used to let my son watch Family Guy. Because I really didn't think about him picking up on television content. Now days, when he does watch t.v., I have to approve it. I only let him watch educational or sport shows. And only for an hour after school and on the weekend in the morning. If I bring him to someone else's house, well, I can't control what is on their t.v. or what video game they allow their kids to play. The point is, I don't want my child exposed to so many things that a 6 year old shouldn't be exposed to. I want his experiences at peoples houses to be pleasant and fun and appropriate for him.
Now I have 2 children to focus on and I'm doing the same thing for child number two. Everyday I am finding out ways to protect my children from harmful things, whether it be mental, physical, emotional, spiritual. I'm constantly looking for ways to better our lives. When people say they think its stupid that I'm trying to make my home BPA free, and buying organic food is stupid, and getting rid of all my household items that have harmful chemicals in them is dumb... I ask why is that stupid? Because I'm trying to improve our lives? Making little changes like these can possibly save us from unnecessary health issues. Oh and teaching my kids to wash their hands constantly. It doesn't seem stupid to me. Why does it seem to offend people that I'm making these decisions? I'm not attacking anyone... I'm simply doing my own thing. I am not judging anyone else's decisions on how they live their life.
I love my children.
P.S. I've thought of 5 more things I like prevent my children from being exposed to. Drugs, lying, cigarette smoking, violence, and negative thinking of others. These are obviously all bad things. I've had my battle with all of them and the outcome is never good. I want to let my children know that telling the truth hurts, but not as bad as when you find out someone has lied to you. That is almost virtually impossible to get over and gain trust in that person again. I think as far as drugs go, they should be prescribed by a doctor only to change one's body chemistry back to normal or to being able to function. Smoking cigarettes is bad for ones health and is a waste of time. I used to smoke and not know what I would do instead of smoke. Well, now, I research how to be an effective parent and I am in school and I am not thinking about my next break instead of studying and I clean my house and make dinner and spend time with my children that would be lost to a cigarette addiction otherwise. Violence is a terrible thing for a human to be a part of. I shouldn't have to list the reasons why. Also, negative thinking of others is never a good thing. When I start to thinking negatively of someone, my conscience kicks in and is all like "whoa, stop that now, you don't even know them, why are you judging them?" I wouldn't want people thinking negatively about me. It not only shows what kind of person you are, but it makes me not want to be around you. I can't be around someone that is constantly making negative comments about every little thing. It brings me down and I recognize it and tend to stay away from that person more and more. It's kind of a type of manipulation... Someone is trying to get me to think badly of someone else. It makes me nauseous. I feel like some kind of demon is hissing the negativity out of the mouths of those who speak that way. I absolutely don't like it. And I don't like name calling. All this stuff is just plain mean and bad and I'm trying to push that out of my family's life and bring in only positive. It's possible. I've seen it with my own eyes.
Then, I met someone that would change my views forever. My fiance asked me, why do you have to have someone watch your son while you do these things? Let's take him to the store and everywhere we go. Afterall, he is your responsibility and your family. So, I did. I took on the responsibility of being an actual parent. I had to learn to teach him how to act in public as I deemed appropriate and not to talk to strangers and not to run into the parking lots and scream at the top of his lungs in the middle of a store and not to run off from mommy... I was stressed! But I knew for his sake, it had to be done. Otherwise, he would have been raised by grandparents (I have nothing against grandparents, but you know how they are with grandkids... By the time a person has become a grandparents they are way more relaxed and tend to be soft with the grandkids), aunts and uncles. So, I made a decision, I would be the sole person to always have my child with me and we would make visits to the grandparents houses.
The number one reason being, I have grown to love my child so much that I recognize what he needs and not what he wants. He needs a routine... Daily and bedtime. Consistancy is a key in successful parenting.
Number two reason, dietary. My son needs to eat healthy. Proper portion size for his age and a well balanced diet.
Number three reason, I as a parent like to limit his electronic world. I have noticed with some experience that if my son watches t.v. he doesn't pay attention to what his body needs.As soon as the t.v. is off he is cranky.Mainly because he didn't pay attention to his stomach saying it needs food and his blood sugar is low. Same with video games. He acts like a drug addict would act for drugs, only his drug is t.v. and video games.
Number four reason, he needs to have a form of discipline that works for him. One thing I need to say is, I do not spank. Not because I don't agree with it, but because he would rather have a spanking then a time out. Also, I feel that spanking is a lack of self control on my part. Time outs work. They have to be the same every time. Watch Super Nanny enough times and it will be so simple.That's what I did.
The last reason I took total control over parenting was because I am the one responsible for the things my children are exposed to. Including but not limited to, drinking alcohol underage or not, you cannot be a responsible person and make coherent decisions or even be able to drive someone to an emergency room under the influence of alcohol, nor does someone realize that children pick up everything... Like hey, that drink makes that person do funny stuff or whatever. Also, to see someone that is younger drinking makes that child think when they grow older that its okay. I am against underage drinking.(this link will explain a little better about the effects of alcohol on the underage brain: http://www.alcoholpolicymd.com/press_room/Media_kits/mk_brain_image_index.htm) I've learned what damage it does to the learning center of the brain that cannot be recovered. There is an age restriction for a reason. If I had known this at a young age I may have made better decisions. I learned this information in my child development class and have researched it extensively online.
Also, another exposure is foul or vulgar language. So many people use it in every day life. It doesn't make a person sound more intelligent and its not okay to use especially when its used to hurt someone. Another more important issue, is sexual content. So many people I know have spoken freely about sex around young children, and not only spoke about it but there have been visual images thrown out there right in front them. I used to let my son watch Family Guy. Because I really didn't think about him picking up on television content. Now days, when he does watch t.v., I have to approve it. I only let him watch educational or sport shows. And only for an hour after school and on the weekend in the morning. If I bring him to someone else's house, well, I can't control what is on their t.v. or what video game they allow their kids to play. The point is, I don't want my child exposed to so many things that a 6 year old shouldn't be exposed to. I want his experiences at peoples houses to be pleasant and fun and appropriate for him.
Now I have 2 children to focus on and I'm doing the same thing for child number two. Everyday I am finding out ways to protect my children from harmful things, whether it be mental, physical, emotional, spiritual. I'm constantly looking for ways to better our lives. When people say they think its stupid that I'm trying to make my home BPA free, and buying organic food is stupid, and getting rid of all my household items that have harmful chemicals in them is dumb... I ask why is that stupid? Because I'm trying to improve our lives? Making little changes like these can possibly save us from unnecessary health issues. Oh and teaching my kids to wash their hands constantly. It doesn't seem stupid to me. Why does it seem to offend people that I'm making these decisions? I'm not attacking anyone... I'm simply doing my own thing. I am not judging anyone else's decisions on how they live their life.
I love my children.
P.S. I've thought of 5 more things I like prevent my children from being exposed to. Drugs, lying, cigarette smoking, violence, and negative thinking of others. These are obviously all bad things. I've had my battle with all of them and the outcome is never good. I want to let my children know that telling the truth hurts, but not as bad as when you find out someone has lied to you. That is almost virtually impossible to get over and gain trust in that person again. I think as far as drugs go, they should be prescribed by a doctor only to change one's body chemistry back to normal or to being able to function. Smoking cigarettes is bad for ones health and is a waste of time. I used to smoke and not know what I would do instead of smoke. Well, now, I research how to be an effective parent and I am in school and I am not thinking about my next break instead of studying and I clean my house and make dinner and spend time with my children that would be lost to a cigarette addiction otherwise. Violence is a terrible thing for a human to be a part of. I shouldn't have to list the reasons why. Also, negative thinking of others is never a good thing. When I start to thinking negatively of someone, my conscience kicks in and is all like "whoa, stop that now, you don't even know them, why are you judging them?" I wouldn't want people thinking negatively about me. It not only shows what kind of person you are, but it makes me not want to be around you. I can't be around someone that is constantly making negative comments about every little thing. It brings me down and I recognize it and tend to stay away from that person more and more. It's kind of a type of manipulation... Someone is trying to get me to think badly of someone else. It makes me nauseous. I feel like some kind of demon is hissing the negativity out of the mouths of those who speak that way. I absolutely don't like it. And I don't like name calling. All this stuff is just plain mean and bad and I'm trying to push that out of my family's life and bring in only positive. It's possible. I've seen it with my own eyes.
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